I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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