do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
