dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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