they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
