i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
