Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
