I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
barbara walters just said penis...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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