there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
