So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
