she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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