What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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