Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
