Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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