She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
