this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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