It's like God shit irony all over that family
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
