apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
