I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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