just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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