I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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