...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize