Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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