I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
