i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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