before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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