I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dignity is for republicans.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
