I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
