i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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