wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
