oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
