Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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