I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
