Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
