Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
