I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
