hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Acid is not a monday night drug
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
