I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
