my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
