in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
