I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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