I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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