I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
