you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So vagazzling was a success
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
