Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
