Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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