yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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