I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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