Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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