she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
