I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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