3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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