So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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