What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize