No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
