I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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