Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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