you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
