i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
