The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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