Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
