Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
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