I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I am naked and annoyed.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
