i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
