Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
