The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
