I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
