So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Randomize
