guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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