How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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