I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
