Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
