I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
