and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
