Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize