I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
