how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
