I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
