What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Holy shit dude........stairs
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