Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
