You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
