my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
