Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
