no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
