i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
